When we are asked, “Do you love yourself?” We are quick within microseconds to say “yes!”. The reason is how ‘crazy’ we’d look if we hesitated even for a few seconds. So we are quick to say yes, even if it’s not entirely true. Whatever you decide to tell people is really up to you as long as you are keeping it 100% with yourself deep inside.
The journey to self-love can be a very long one. It rarely happens overnight because to achieve this, there are steps and stages that will involve a lot of soul searching, going within, bringing up old memory and mistakes and healing before you can genuinely start to love yourself. Depending on your past experiences or current circumstance, it can be a painful journey as well.
I am happy to not just be able to say but also believe it when I say I love myself. As I said, it didn’t happen overnight. It took some time but because of how important this is to me, I chose to be patient with myself for as long as it was going to take. The fact that I chose to be patient (because I used to be so hard on myself) was my first practice of self-love.
What Is Self-Love And Why Is It Important?
First of all, let me clear the idea that the practice of self-love is a selfish act. This is not correct in any way. Self-love is a process you undergo and a life choice you make simply for genuine happiness and support of yourself.
Self-love is accepting yourself just the way you are and making changes to your life as you see fit; not being pressured by anyone else to be somebody else.
With self-love, you are kind, gentle, patient and open to your self. Self-love is getting to know who you really are and working with your qualities accordingly.
There is nothing selfish about this. As a matter of fact, anyone that makes you feel bad for loving yourself is not the right kind of person to be around. Why should anyone be mad about you improving your life?
Self-love is very important because;
1. In knowing who we really are, we know what to and what not to allow.
2. It is a process of creating a strong and healthy relationship with yourself.
3. You are finding ways to have sufficient love for yourself because you shouldn’t have to be dependent on others to give that to you.
4. When you love yourself, you start to see life in a different way. People’s opinion won’t matter anymore.
5. Self-love is vital for your mental health, your confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. How you see and treat yourself is how others will learn to see and treat you.
5 Self Love Tips For Your Journey To Happiness
1. Be Patient With Yourself
If you are not patient with yourself no one else will. As you know, a transformation is not always an easy process. It requires a lot of patience and filled with uncertainties.
Be kind and gentle with yourself. Developing and forming new habits take a while to stick. So keep practicing it daily till it becomes second nature.
2. Avoid Listening To External Thoughts
People don’t like changes. A lot of people would rather you remain the same for their own comfort. No ones opinion about yourself should count. Stop listening to people telling you who you are and what you should be doing. Only your opinion should matter.
This is one of the first steps to take in knowing who you really are and from that, you’ll start to earn what is acceptable to you and what is not.
Related Post: 5 Ways To Achieve A Healthy Positive Mindset
3. Declutter Your Life
You have to let unnecessary baggage go if it’s not yours to carry. Everyone has a lot of their own issues to deal with so why let another person’s problems weigh you down in addition to yours.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t be helpful and supportive of your loved ones at all. Just know there are ways to be of service to people without letting them weigh you down.
When you finally get to a stage of your fully formed self-love ability, you will be able to utilize your energy in a way it doesn’t take away from you. For now, just focus on yourself.
4. Make Yourself A Priority
To make yourself a priority is very important. Remember, what you allow is what will continue. If something doesn’t feel right or sit right with your spirit, acknowledge it and act accordingly. People pleasers are one of the most unhappy people out there.
Learn to use the word ‘no’ as often as you need. If you keep letting things slide, you are indirectly saying you are okay with whatever it is.
5. Really Start Loving Yourself
It’s easier said than done… but really you need to start acting like you do. Self-love cuts across all boards of being healthiness. Take care of your body by exercising and eating healthy, splurge on yourself every now and then, take yourself out on dates, read books, travel, pamper yourself and just learn to enjoy your own company.
Be enough for yourself first. When you stop being dependent on others to love you and to make you feel good, your confidence grows!
Self-love is not in any way a promotion of isolation. We still need relationships and a healthy support system in our life. It’s just a way of life that promotes giving to yourself as much as you give to others. That way, we can form healthier bonds with ourselves and with the people we surround ourselves with.