Ray Amaari

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What Are The Best Ways To Self Care After Years With A Narcissist?

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This post has been long overdue for me to write. I often get questions in my email about how to move on from a toxic relationship with a narcissist. 

It’s time to share my experience on how to deal with a narcissist and answer all your questions.

Most women would have encountered a narcissist at one point in their life or are presently in a relationship with one.

Don’t blame yourself if you are finding it hard to let go and move on.

That is going to be one of the biggest emotional battles you will ever fight, but you’ll survive.

 

Related Post: 20 Quotes To Move On From A Toxic Relationship

 

Before we dig deeper into this, you have to understand how who a narcissist is and why it is hard to move on and heal from them.

It’s not your fault, you are a decent human being that just got wrapped up with an energy vampire okay!

 

 

What are the signs of a narcissistic man?

There are ill-mannered and selfish people all around us every day but that doesn’t make them narcs.

Narcissistic men are wired differently. The clinical term for narcissism is psychopathy. It’s a personality disorder.

Don’t try to win with them, you can’t! 

But what you can do is take back your power and leave them; very hard but you will have to do that to be free.

They;

  • have an inflated ego with a sense of superiority.
  • are entitle and require constant, excessive admiration.
  • expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it.
  • overstate accomplishments and talents.
  • never apologize for anything
  • want to control all you do, even what you wear
  • highlight all your flaws even publicly
  • believe they are always right
  • like to engage in emotional manipulations
  • even threaten to hurt themselves if you leave them

 

 

The Best Way To Leave A Narcissist

I’m just going to go plain and simple here, the only way to end a relationship with a narcissist is to ghost them and stick to the ‘no contact rule’.

Going ghost on people can be hurtful to the person you’ve disappeared on but you have to do it.

Trying to reason with a narcissist only goes two ways: he threatens to hurt himself or talks you back into staying with them.

Do not underestimate them for they are very good with words and will make you believe they can change but really can’t.

Narcissism is a mental disorder, it’s not up to you to try to fix them. Leave that work to a therapist.

I say that because you will find yourself giving him chances after chances by thinking he will change.

I’ll advise not to waste your time or your life, start healing from the trauma of that relationship so you can find the love you truly deserve.

Give them no warnings, lose and block their contact numbers, unfollow and block from all social media platforms even their friends too. 

 

 

What Happens When You Go No Contact On A Narcissist?

They get very angry!

You’ve taken your power and control back and they are not happy about that. These people thrive off your dependency on them.

They will try their hardest to communicate with you.

Not because they realize how much they love you, not because they realize they did you wrong and want to make amends.

They are never apologetic, don’t forget. 

You have to be strong. They will say what they know you want to hear to take them back. 

If this is a man you are divorcing, have your lawyer intercept all communications and emails too. 

They can easily get aggressive so you may need to file a restraining order.

They will do all they can to screw you over or may even cause you to lose your job. 

Stand your ground and get support from family till they lose their interest or find another prey, unfortunately.

 

 

Self – Care Tips After A Relationship With A Narcissist

When you leave a narcissist the first thing you have to do is find yourself again but it may take some time.

You may have been deeply in love with them so you have to move on like its any other regular relationship plus find healing for the emotional damage they may have caused you.

 

  • Forgive 

Haven spent some time with a narc can cause you to blame yourself and have felt that you are not good enough.

They are quick to call out your flaws making you blame yourself for why you had problems in the relationship.

Forgive yourself for allowing them to make you feel like you weren’t worthy of great love.

Understand that they aren’t okay and their words are not a reflection of who you are but for them.

 

 

  •  Spend Time Alone Till You Regain Balance

Healing takes time, it’s not a process to rush at all. Spend some time by yourself and try to enjoy your own company.

Unfortunately, most narcs succeed in rendering powerless because they recognize your tendency to be codependent.

Tell yourself that you are enough for yourself and prove that to yourself by spending time enjoying your own company.

Rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. Get rid of how they made you feel about yourself by creating new truths. 

Related Post: 16 Fun Things You Never Thought You Could Do Alone

 

 

  • Take Care Of Yourself

There is a reason why women who have been through a lot shave all of their hair off.

Now, I’m not saying you should do that but changing your looks has a direct effect on your mood.

It makes you feel like a whole new person so you may want to consider working out, taking care of your nails, buying new clothes, moving to a new city or getting a new job!

It’s all about creating a new definition for who you are.

Related Post: These 5 Things Will Change How You Feel About Yourself

 

 

  • Journal

This can be tied to a gratitude journal or just keeping a journal of your emotions and how you have changed over time once you are out of the relationship. I love keeping journals as a self-reflective tool to see how far I have come in my personal growth journey. Find the journal ideas to get started.

 

 

  • Get A Pet

Pets can provide great company and as well as taking care of one. People who suffer from anxiety often love the balance cats provide them.

Stroking a cat or dog can be very healing. Support animals are even better. I could not have survived without my support cat.

He started gallivanting at night after I healed–a sure sign that I had recovered.

 

 

I hope I have been able to answer your questions on how to deal with a narcissist and regain your life back. Please leave questions in the comment section or drop me an email.

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